Thursday, September 18, 2008

God In The Chaos....This Is Only A Test

My "motif" around here is finding God in the chaos of life. Well, boy howdy (as my friend Joanne would say!), have I had an abundance of opportunities to "find" Him lately! Testing ground, indeed!

Yep....I found Him when I had a large stack of bills piled up on my kitchen table, staring at me profusely, waiting to be paid. Not enough funds to pay them within our reach, but He came through as always.

I found Him again while lying in the hospital last week for 24 hours, thinking I was having a heart attack. I think I had a mental breakdown lying in that hospital bed Thursday morning. Turns out, it was only stress and anxiety. Imagine that!!

I most assuredly found Him this past weekend at the wonderful women's retreat I helped plan and was privileged to teach for. It was one of THE most AWESOME experiences in my life...EVER!!!
If you were there, Just know that I love you and enjoyed every last minute spent with you.

I found Him again Monday morning when I woke up with a horrendous toothache, no... make that a horrendous throbbing entire face ache and headache... only to find later that I had an abscessed tooth and needed an emergency root canal that afternoon.

I found Him as I laid in bed for 3 days on pain meds and strong antibiotics, looking back over the past couple of weeks and sensing God's hand protecting me through it all.

Today, I am back to normal, well... as close to normal as I ever get (I can hear you snickering Dana, Julie and Tanya!)...and reflecting on what God has accomplished in my life.

Ironically, I taught at the women's retreat on the subject of God's Peace and God's Provision. Isn't that funny? Leading the sessions was as inspiring to me as it was to the women listening to the words spewing from my mouth. That is, of course, because they were the words God had given me; Not words I had randomly selected within my own ability. He even gave me the extra true life examples (that I COULD have done without) to bring the point home.

Thank You Father for Your unfailing grace, Your timely provision, never a minute too late, and your unending love.You gave me peace in the middle of my chaos (after I had my nervous breakdown) in order that I might serve You better. It was only when I tried to figure everything out for myself, that fear overcame me. May I remember Your wonderful works in the future when I am tempted to fall to the wayside, filled with worry and despair.

May you, my friends, remember that He has it all under control. No matter what you are facing, God has great plans for you and He WILL bring them to fruition!! Walk in His peace today. Read His word and take it into your heart of hearts.

I think I passed the test. Because:

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for what I have not seen.

Love and Blessings,


lee said...

Hey're teaching this past weekend was wonderful and very personal. Thank you for allowing us such insight into your heart!

Pinkshoelady said...

Hey Starr,
I loved this post it was just what i needed today!
My life has been in chaos lately too and I needed this so much!

I have missed stopping by but my back is getting better and I can now sit longer than 30 minutes at a time so expect to see me around more often.

I love you my friend...wish I could have been at your retreat!


koinonia community said...

I have been wondering and worring about you and been searching for your email. I don't have it on my laptop and everytime I try to pull up my big 'puter it crashes on me. I am sorry to hear all the trouble you have been having and wish I would have been there. Know that you have been in my prayers though.

Joanne said...


Looks like God was preparing you for one amazing teaching experience this past week. I wish I could have been there and gleaned from all He is showing you. I am sure the gals were so blessed.

You are being usee for His purpose, and His glory...keep growing friend. The mountaintop is worth the tough hike up!

Love, Joanne