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This morning I felt like a very ineffective mom.
My seven year old son loves to pick fights with me, and today was no different. When he does not get his own way, he blows up. I can understand that is a symptom of his ADHD, but understanding does not make it any easier. At least not for me.
He has such a good spirit about him. He cares about people and loves with his whole heart. It's just hard for him to follow the rules, which can make a momma look bad to onlookers.
After his home school co-op classes today, he wanted to stay and play with his buddies. That is all good, except for the fact that after class is not the time or the place for running around and playing in the building while other classes are still in session.
Of course, when I summoned him to get his backpack and leave with me, World War Three began. As usual after calling his name, chasing him around and giving him "the look", I told him goodbye and headed for the door. Finally he followed, as he usually does, but he was filled to the brim with hatred for me, the one who had destroyed his fun.
On the short ride home, he said many not-so-nice words to me. I announced in a calm voice that there would be no privileges for him for the rest of the day; No video games, no television, and no skateboarding or bike riding.
That only fueled the fire of his anger and the hurtful words began to spew from his little dimpled mouth even louder. Instead of more rules and whys and why-nots, I decided to keep silent.
We pulled into our driveway and I unlocked the front door, giving him no response whatsoever. I just pointed to his room and he quietly went in.
For once, he didn't know what to think. He wasn't getting a reaction from me. What did that mean? He was stunned by my silence. The Holy Spirit prompted me to remain quiet. I was struggling to obey with every fiber of my being, but inside, my heart raced with guilt, frustration and anger at his harsh words.
Awhile later, the silence emitting from his room was deafening, so I went in to see what he was up to. There he sat, in his bean bag, holding his open Bible and a family picture album on his lap.
He looked at me with repentant love in his eyes. My heart melted as I stood there and watched him write down something on a piece of paper. In his own seven-year-old-boy-script, he had written the words "I 'poligize, Mom. Do you forgiv me?"
Never speaking a word, I gave him a hug and he squeezed me back with all his might.
The silence was hard for both of us, but after the negative words that had been aired earlier, the silence felt good; So did the unspoken knowledge of forgiveness and love between us. God's presence was definitely with us both.
Maybe today is your day to keep silent. Those raging thoughts you have do not necessarily need to be spoken. Hold your tongue just for today and see what happens. It may be the most effective comment you have ever made.
"Therefore He who is prudent will keep silence in such a time, for it is an evil time. Seek (inquire for and require) good and not evil that you may live, and so the Lord, the God of hosts, will be with you, as you have said." (Amos 5:13-14 AMP)
"By a long forbearance and calmness of spirit a judge or ruler is persuaded, and soft speech breaks down the most bonelike resistance." (Proverbs 25:15 AMP)
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Friday, January 8, 2010
Monday, September 14, 2009
Unity
It's funny how, if you give in, and let everyone be who they are, life is so much easier. I have tried so hard to manage my homeschool day in such a way that we are schedule oriented. I decided that was the best possible scenario for an ADHD child. But, ya know what? I have found that is NOT the best thing for MY child or ME.
One of the best perks of homeschooling in the first place is letting your child be who God created them to be. I should know that after 14 years of homeschooling, but I guess I have to be reminded every once in a while.
How many times have you caught yourself trying to re-invent someone close to you just so they would fit in with your own ideas of perfection? I admit I have done it quite often. Not really intentionally, but nevertheless, I have done it.
My youngest son is the total opposite personality from me. We are night and day; Oil and water. But, there is one thing we share; love and lots of it. That is enough common ground to work together.
In reality, my way is NOT always the best way. Even when it comes to my children. It is hard to admit to your child when you have messed up. But, they always accept your honesty with love and forgiveness. Mine do anyway. Try it. Yours probably will too.
These past few days have been a 180 degree turn from where we were a couple of weeks ago. All because I have stopped being so set in my ways and I have allowed my child to learn in a way that is comfortable to him. He has retained so much more information this way. It has been an enlightening experience for us both.
This approach works for every relationship in your life, not just homeschooling. Let your husband be himself. Let your parents be themselves. Let your best friend be herself. And, the best part of all, do NOT be afraid to be who YOU are. So much more can be accomplished when we all work together accepting each other's flaws and imperfections. As long as we have the same goal, we can co-exist cheerfully. We may just have different ways of getting there.
God places certain people in your life to compliment who you are. Let them do it. As Christians, we most likely have many common goals. We are here to support each other. To encourage each other. If you are having relationship woes, maybe you are falling short in one of those areas. Maybe your communication is lacking in openness and sincerity.
"But, I urge you and entreat you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you be in perfect harmony and full agreement in what you say, and that there be no dissensions or factions or divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in your common understanding and in your opinions and judgements."
(1 Corinthians 1:10 AMP)
"There is no room for and there can be neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, nor slave or free man; but Christ is all and is in all. Clothe yourselves therefore, as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), who are purified and holy and well-loved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways and patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]. " (Colossians 3:11-12 AMP)
Is your temper even? Has it flared lately? Do you have mercy on others, or are you quick to expect much and judge often?
God made each of us individually, just the way He desired. We are hand-sculpted by the Master Artist. Enjoy the creativity of the Father. Look at those around you as works of art and accept them as they are. Unity is wonderful and peace swiftly follows. Experience both today with those you love, as well as those who rub you the wrong way. That's God's will for His children!
One of the best perks of homeschooling in the first place is letting your child be who God created them to be. I should know that after 14 years of homeschooling, but I guess I have to be reminded every once in a while.
How many times have you caught yourself trying to re-invent someone close to you just so they would fit in with your own ideas of perfection? I admit I have done it quite often. Not really intentionally, but nevertheless, I have done it.
My youngest son is the total opposite personality from me. We are night and day; Oil and water. But, there is one thing we share; love and lots of it. That is enough common ground to work together.
In reality, my way is NOT always the best way. Even when it comes to my children. It is hard to admit to your child when you have messed up. But, they always accept your honesty with love and forgiveness. Mine do anyway. Try it. Yours probably will too.
These past few days have been a 180 degree turn from where we were a couple of weeks ago. All because I have stopped being so set in my ways and I have allowed my child to learn in a way that is comfortable to him. He has retained so much more information this way. It has been an enlightening experience for us both.
This approach works for every relationship in your life, not just homeschooling. Let your husband be himself. Let your parents be themselves. Let your best friend be herself. And, the best part of all, do NOT be afraid to be who YOU are. So much more can be accomplished when we all work together accepting each other's flaws and imperfections. As long as we have the same goal, we can co-exist cheerfully. We may just have different ways of getting there.
God places certain people in your life to compliment who you are. Let them do it. As Christians, we most likely have many common goals. We are here to support each other. To encourage each other. If you are having relationship woes, maybe you are falling short in one of those areas. Maybe your communication is lacking in openness and sincerity.
"But, I urge you and entreat you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you be in perfect harmony and full agreement in what you say, and that there be no dissensions or factions or divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in your common understanding and in your opinions and judgements."
(1 Corinthians 1:10 AMP)
"There is no room for and there can be neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, nor slave or free man; but Christ is all and is in all. Clothe yourselves therefore, as God's own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), who are purified and holy and well-loved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways and patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]. " (Colossians 3:11-12 AMP)
Is your temper even? Has it flared lately? Do you have mercy on others, or are you quick to expect much and judge often?
God made each of us individually, just the way He desired. We are hand-sculpted by the Master Artist. Enjoy the creativity of the Father. Look at those around you as works of art and accept them as they are. Unity is wonderful and peace swiftly follows. Experience both today with those you love, as well as those who rub you the wrong way. That's God's will for His children!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Who Is Watching You?
I was watching Dr. Phil a while ago, and the theme of today's show was people getting caught in unflattering situations that later come back to haunt them. Funny how that was the topic of the day. I ,myself, was caught earlier at the grocery store in a not-so-flattering situation. Allow me to explain.
My six year-old son had been particularly mischievous all day long. He had talked back to me in a negative way several times throughout the day and I had corrected him over and over again. I had just about had it up to my eyeballs, I tell ya. I was on the verge of pulling my hair out between trying to bargain shop and stick to my list in the midst of keeping him still and obedient. It was not a good combination.
Now, I know many of you have an abundance of kids to drag along on your shopping trips, and I only have the one. But, sometimes, just as any child can do, that one can act like an army of 100. Anyway, by the time I had made it to the car, I was at my wit's end.
We were at the type of store where one bags their own groceries. I always wait to do that when I get to my van. It just seems easier that way for me. So, I had the back of the van raised, and I was attempting to bag everything and place it where it would not roll around or get crushed on the ride home. Austin usually takes the buggy back to the storefront for me and takes the quarter out. (That is how they keep the buggies from ending up all over the parking lot.) But not today. No sir. Today, I had instructed him to just get in and buckle up.
Do you think he followed directions? Absolutely not! He knew he was in trouble because of his disobedience inside the store, so he was trying desperately to "help" me get everything situated in the van. I insisted over and over again that the best way he could help me would be to just GET IN HIS SEAT AND BUCKLE UP!!!!!##%%&&***!@@!!
He finally obeyed, and as I finished my task at hand, I sensed someone standing behind me. As I turned around, I saw a very polite looking older gentleman standing there with a quarter in his hand, waiting patiently for my buggy. He smiled and said, "I thought it would help you a little if I took your buggy for you. It seems like you are having a rough day."
I gladly gave him the buggy and thanked him for his kindness and patience.
Smack me down! I never even thought about the fact that someone may have been watching me. I began to wonder how rude I must have appeared to onlookers as I lost my patience with my young son. Granted, most women would totally understand how a mother can get slightly irritated in that situation, but, what about the person who may have been watching me from a distance who had no idea what I had just been through inside the grocery store.
What about the person who may have noticed the fish emblem on the back of my van, not to mention the "fear not" sticker. I obviously was claiming to be a Christian, but was I obviously acting like one? Probably not. I had a bad attitude and I let it show.
What a revelation I had today. How often have I acted rude or self-absorbed, oblivious to the fact that someone was watching me? Probably way more than I care to admit.
Dr. Phil advised the guests on his show today to always be aware at all times of who may be watching you. One of the young ladies he talked to made the statement that she had never claimed to be a role model. She couldn't help it if someone caught her off-guard and photographed her doing something not-so-nice. Well, as Christians, we are role models, like it or not. People are watching. We live in glass houses and we need to be good examples of what Christ can accomplish in a person's life. How else can we win souls for His kingdom?
We have no excuses for acting less than desirable. No matter what, God sees us. He is not waiting up there with a big stick to swat us when we misbehave. Thank goodness. Instead, He is saddened by our wrong actions. That hurts me worse than the big stick would.
I am, above all, an example to my child. He has been placed in my care by God and I am to raise him in a Godly manner. I think I failed to leave him with a good impression earlier today (not to mention the poor man who waited on my buggy.) Even when Austin is testing my patience, I am to remain calm. I am to guide and lead with a loving and stern hand. I am to respond in a God-honoring way. I am to hold onto my peace.
"Be shepherds to God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers- not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; ....not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. " (1 Peter 5:2-3 NIV)
Next time I am out in public (or in the privacy of my own home) I will be more aware of who is watching me and attempt to act in a manner that makes God want to smile instead of frown.
Think back through your day. Did you do or say something that could possibly hurt your witness for Christ? Usually if we have soiled our witness, we have hurt another human being in the process; no matter how small a blunder we have made. Don't condemn yourself; God doesn't. Just learn from your mistakes.
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:1 NIV)
"For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish." (Psalms 1:6 NIV)
""From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth- He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do." (Psalms 33:13-15 NIV)
" And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with Whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you."
(Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV)
Love and Blessings,
Starr
My six year-old son had been particularly mischievous all day long. He had talked back to me in a negative way several times throughout the day and I had corrected him over and over again. I had just about had it up to my eyeballs, I tell ya. I was on the verge of pulling my hair out between trying to bargain shop and stick to my list in the midst of keeping him still and obedient. It was not a good combination.
Now, I know many of you have an abundance of kids to drag along on your shopping trips, and I only have the one. But, sometimes, just as any child can do, that one can act like an army of 100. Anyway, by the time I had made it to the car, I was at my wit's end.
We were at the type of store where one bags their own groceries. I always wait to do that when I get to my van. It just seems easier that way for me. So, I had the back of the van raised, and I was attempting to bag everything and place it where it would not roll around or get crushed on the ride home. Austin usually takes the buggy back to the storefront for me and takes the quarter out. (That is how they keep the buggies from ending up all over the parking lot.) But not today. No sir. Today, I had instructed him to just get in and buckle up.
Do you think he followed directions? Absolutely not! He knew he was in trouble because of his disobedience inside the store, so he was trying desperately to "help" me get everything situated in the van. I insisted over and over again that the best way he could help me would be to just GET IN HIS SEAT AND BUCKLE UP!!!!!##%%&&***!@@!!
He finally obeyed, and as I finished my task at hand, I sensed someone standing behind me. As I turned around, I saw a very polite looking older gentleman standing there with a quarter in his hand, waiting patiently for my buggy. He smiled and said, "I thought it would help you a little if I took your buggy for you. It seems like you are having a rough day."
I gladly gave him the buggy and thanked him for his kindness and patience.
Smack me down! I never even thought about the fact that someone may have been watching me. I began to wonder how rude I must have appeared to onlookers as I lost my patience with my young son. Granted, most women would totally understand how a mother can get slightly irritated in that situation, but, what about the person who may have been watching me from a distance who had no idea what I had just been through inside the grocery store.
What about the person who may have noticed the fish emblem on the back of my van, not to mention the "fear not" sticker. I obviously was claiming to be a Christian, but was I obviously acting like one? Probably not. I had a bad attitude and I let it show.
What a revelation I had today. How often have I acted rude or self-absorbed, oblivious to the fact that someone was watching me? Probably way more than I care to admit.
Dr. Phil advised the guests on his show today to always be aware at all times of who may be watching you. One of the young ladies he talked to made the statement that she had never claimed to be a role model. She couldn't help it if someone caught her off-guard and photographed her doing something not-so-nice. Well, as Christians, we are role models, like it or not. People are watching. We live in glass houses and we need to be good examples of what Christ can accomplish in a person's life. How else can we win souls for His kingdom?
We have no excuses for acting less than desirable. No matter what, God sees us. He is not waiting up there with a big stick to swat us when we misbehave. Thank goodness. Instead, He is saddened by our wrong actions. That hurts me worse than the big stick would.
I am, above all, an example to my child. He has been placed in my care by God and I am to raise him in a Godly manner. I think I failed to leave him with a good impression earlier today (not to mention the poor man who waited on my buggy.) Even when Austin is testing my patience, I am to remain calm. I am to guide and lead with a loving and stern hand. I am to respond in a God-honoring way. I am to hold onto my peace.
"Be shepherds to God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers- not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; ....not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. " (1 Peter 5:2-3 NIV)
Next time I am out in public (or in the privacy of my own home) I will be more aware of who is watching me and attempt to act in a manner that makes God want to smile instead of frown.
Think back through your day. Did you do or say something that could possibly hurt your witness for Christ? Usually if we have soiled our witness, we have hurt another human being in the process; no matter how small a blunder we have made. Don't condemn yourself; God doesn't. Just learn from your mistakes.
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:1 NIV)
"For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish." (Psalms 1:6 NIV)
""From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth- He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do." (Psalms 33:13-15 NIV)
" And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with Whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you."
(Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV)
Love and Blessings,
Starr
Friday, July 25, 2008
The Image Of The Father
Six year-old Austin wants so much to be like his dad. Everything my husband does, Austin wants to do, too.
My husband is an avid bike rider and you cannot imagine how excited Austin was this morning when he discovered a bike shirt in his drawer! The screams could be heard throughout the entire house.
You see, yesterday my sister brought over some clothes my nephew has outgrown and I had placed them all in Austin's drawers without him even noticing it. I never realized those shirts would have such an effect on my little guy.
"MOM!!! Can I go ride my bike right now!!??", he yelled from his room as he excitedly dressed himself in the bike clothes.
Next thing I knew, he was standing at my bedroom door all dressed and exclaiming, "Look Mom!! I look just like dad does!!"
"Of course you can go ride." How could I say no to that little face.
He wouldn't set foot out the door, though before calling his dad at work to tell him all about how his new bike clothes matched his bike and how he was just like dad. Then, he took off like a professional. How adorable he was as he rode away!
My husband is an avid bike rider and you cannot imagine how excited Austin was this morning when he discovered a bike shirt in his drawer! The screams could be heard throughout the entire house.
You see, yesterday my sister brought over some clothes my nephew has outgrown and I had placed them all in Austin's drawers without him even noticing it. I never realized those shirts would have such an effect on my little guy.
"MOM!!! Can I go ride my bike right now!!??", he yelled from his room as he excitedly dressed himself in the bike clothes.
Next thing I knew, he was standing at my bedroom door all dressed and exclaiming, "Look Mom!! I look just like dad does!!"
"Of course you can go ride." How could I say no to that little face.
He wouldn't set foot out the door, though before calling his dad at work to tell him all about how his new bike clothes matched his bike and how he was just like dad. Then, he took off like a professional. How adorable he was as he rode away!
The other day, my husband was working on his car, so Austin went and grabbed his toolbox. Next thing I knew, he was under the car "working" hard. What a cute little mechanic he made!
My husband is also a guitarist and Praise and Worship Leader. Here is a photo of my oldest son, Chase.
Do you see a pattern here? I certainly do! My husband has an important task set before him if he is to influence our children for God. I think he does a tremendously good job at it. Just look at the evidence!
Parenting is a large calling on one's life. It is a big role to fill. To our children, we are heroes. Little do they know, they are our heroes! Someday when they become parents themselves, they will know firsthand just how much they influenced us.
I found this poem by Lee Fisher. It says it all. My husband keeps on his dresser.
A Little Fellow Follows Me
A Careful man I want to be, A little fellow follows me;
I do not dare to go astray, For fear he'll go the self-same way.
I cannot once escape his eyes, What'er he sees me do, he tries;
Like me he says he's going to be, The little chap who follows me.
He thinks that I am good and fine, Believes in every work of mine;
The base in me he must not see, The little chap who follows me.
I must remember as I go, Through summer's sun and winter's snow;
I'm building for the years to be that little chap who follows me.
(Lee Fisher)
May we strive to be the kind of people our children believe we are.
1 John 3:2- "Beloved, we are [even here and] now God's children; it is not yet disclosed (made clear) what we shall be [hereafter], but we know that when He comes and is manifested, we shall [as God's children] resemble and be like Him, for we shall see Him just as He [really] is. (AMP)
May we strive to be like our Father, our Creator.
Colossians 3:10- "....renewed and remolded into [fuller and more perfect knowledge upon] knowledge after the image (the likeness) of Him Who created it. (AMP)
Have you influenced your child today in a positive manner? Tell me your stories of how your little ones follow in your footsteps. Can't wait to hear from you all!
Love and Blessings,
Starr
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Seasons
I love this time of year. It is just refreshing to look out the window and see life all around! I had grown weary of looking out to see dried up remnants of what used to be nature's beauty. Spring is a gift from God to us, His children, don't you think? I certainly do believe that is true. He realizes, in His awesome wisdom, that we need a pick-me-up after being shut in and cold for such an extended time. I am so glad that He cares for us so deeply that he even gave us the seasons so we wouldn't get stuck in a rut.
I am also in a different season of life right now. I find myself having to loosen my grip on my oldest child who has just graduated from High School. Not just any high school, our home school, where I have had the privilege to be his teacher, his mom, his mentor and his friend for the past eleven years. I think it may be even harder for a home school mom to let go of her child; more than any other mother. Just for the fact that we have spent so much time with our children. In reality, I can look back and feel blessed that I got to see him grow and learn every step of the way. I can honestly say I have tried to be the best mom I could be. In contrast, I guess we all have some regrets as we glance back over our parenting experiences. We could have always done something better. But I am so glad I had the blessing of homeschooling.
The new signs of life out my window are inviting me to come out and explore what God has offered. I am excited as I venture out to experience it all! I am sure my son feels the same way as he sets out to experience all that God has planned for his life. I can be assured as he moves forward that his mind is fixed on Christ and his plans will mirror that image. What better gift could a mom possibly ask for! I am excited for him as well. I can't wait to see what God will accomplish through his life and I am so glad I played a part in getting my son to this point in time.
I do have a five-year-old to keep me occupied, though. We are just beginning on his home school journey. There are lots of windows to be opened for him. He is in a new season, too. Our house is brimming with hope and expectation as we pass through all the future thresholds!
I trust God to lead us all the way. Life is great and full of newness. Even in the dormant times, God is working on our behalf to bring His purposes to fruition. If only we can remember that no matter what season we find ourselves in, change is coming, and it always brings us something good in the end.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 -"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." (NIV)
What season are you in right now?
What is God showing you in this time of life?
How can you use what you are learning to help someone else?
Thank Him for His wisdom and His love and be glad for your season. It has a purpose and Romans 8:28 says that it will all work out for your good, if you love Him in the midst of it.
Love and Blessing,
Starr
I am also in a different season of life right now. I find myself having to loosen my grip on my oldest child who has just graduated from High School. Not just any high school, our home school, where I have had the privilege to be his teacher, his mom, his mentor and his friend for the past eleven years. I think it may be even harder for a home school mom to let go of her child; more than any other mother. Just for the fact that we have spent so much time with our children. In reality, I can look back and feel blessed that I got to see him grow and learn every step of the way. I can honestly say I have tried to be the best mom I could be. In contrast, I guess we all have some regrets as we glance back over our parenting experiences. We could have always done something better. But I am so glad I had the blessing of homeschooling.
The new signs of life out my window are inviting me to come out and explore what God has offered. I am excited as I venture out to experience it all! I am sure my son feels the same way as he sets out to experience all that God has planned for his life. I can be assured as he moves forward that his mind is fixed on Christ and his plans will mirror that image. What better gift could a mom possibly ask for! I am excited for him as well. I can't wait to see what God will accomplish through his life and I am so glad I played a part in getting my son to this point in time.
I do have a five-year-old to keep me occupied, though. We are just beginning on his home school journey. There are lots of windows to be opened for him. He is in a new season, too. Our house is brimming with hope and expectation as we pass through all the future thresholds!
I trust God to lead us all the way. Life is great and full of newness. Even in the dormant times, God is working on our behalf to bring His purposes to fruition. If only we can remember that no matter what season we find ourselves in, change is coming, and it always brings us something good in the end.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 -"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." (NIV)
What season are you in right now?
What is God showing you in this time of life?
How can you use what you are learning to help someone else?
Thank Him for His wisdom and His love and be glad for your season. It has a purpose and Romans 8:28 says that it will all work out for your good, if you love Him in the midst of it.
Love and Blessing,
Starr
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Character First
This is my first year "officially" homeschooling my youngest son, Austin. I have homeschooled my oldest all the way through and he will be graduating this year. It has been a wonderful journey and I am looking forward to the continuation of the experience for many years to come. Though, I believe this second time around the block may prove to be a bit more of a challenge.
Austin has just recently been diagnosed with ADHD. He is such a loving and thoughtful child and this whole ordeal has been rather dis-heartening for our entire family. His main issues are impulsiveness and hyper-activity. He also has some anger management problems. Any type of formal teaching has been somewhat difficult and I have had to re-invent my teaching methods in order to better serve him. That's one of the wonderful perks of homeschooling; Building the education around the child instead of vice-versa. It works so much better that way.
Sometimes I think Austin may be smarter than me! That is a little scary. He is a very deep thinker for such a small boy. He ponders the things of life in such an intriguing manner that he quizzes me on things I really have to ponder myself before I can give him an educated answer! That has proven to be a good thing, though. I am somewhat of a deep thinker myself. I guess he gets it honest! All his questions leave me searching and finding some pretty enlightening ways to respond. Along the way, I learn quite a lot myself.
I had one of those light bulb moments the other day. You know how it is; you have a revelation about a certain thing at a time when you aren't even particularly thinking about it. Those are what I call "Thresholds". Doors that God leads me right through when I least expect it. I had been struggling with how to best deal with the academic aspects of Austin's homeschool day. After being undecided about what direction to take, I just took a few days off and Austin and I just did fun things together. We did Bible studies, art, watched some educational videos, went to the library, had some long conversations, stuff like that. All of a sudden that "Threshold" opened up and I heard the words "Character First". Not audibly, but they were in my mind so clearly, I knew they were words from my Father.
That's it!! Now I have a clear direction! Austin is only five years old. And, a mind-wandering male at that! Academics don't have to be top priority at this time in his life! Especially if that is stealing his joy (and mine, too). What an eye-opener! I think in the back of my mind, I had that feeling all along, but hearing it directly from my (and Austin's!) Creator kind of gave me the permission I needed to relax and work on the important thing, Austin's character. I can stop depending on medication (which hasn't worked anyway) and trying to put him in a box and make him act like other kids do. God made him to be who he is and hand-picked us to be his family. How wonderful! This ADHD thing is not a burden after all! It is a gift! A gift that, paired with the blessing of homeschooling, can help me to discover who Austin really is in Christ. A Gift that allows me (his hand-picked mom) to develop and guide him into God's plan for his life! My husband agreed wholeheartedly when I shared my new insights with him. That was another confirmation for me right there!
I praise God for giving me this child later into my life. There are many advantages to having a child as an older woman, but one I can see clearly now is that I am at a stage myself where I have experienced many things. I am more open to hearing God's voice and obeying what He tells me to do, in spite of my own doubts and fears. Even in spite of what other people may think or say. I have learned that God's way is ALWAYS the best, and if I obey this time and get Austin's character in line with God's word, all the rest of the things in his life will fall into place. No struggle. Granted, I know life will never be perfect, but I sure would rather do it God's way. That's a lot closer to perfection than my own way, for sure.
My love for my children is so great I can't fathom that God loves them even more. But, that strong invincible love we all feel for this special child along with this perfect layout straight from God's word will be my new lesson-plan from now on. He has shown it to us all in Colossians 3:12-17, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And, whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."
We are thankful for Austin. We can forgive Austin for his mistakes. We can forgive ourselves for the many mistakes we have made as well-meaning parents. We will all remain clothed with the virtues of God and peace will rule in the lives of this family! And, it will all be accomplished in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ who we are so thankful to for giving us this blessed experience! Austin is chosen by God and we will honor and appreciate how God created him. And that, my friends, is building the education around the child.
Hope you all have an "enlightening" day in the Lord!
Austin has just recently been diagnosed with ADHD. He is such a loving and thoughtful child and this whole ordeal has been rather dis-heartening for our entire family. His main issues are impulsiveness and hyper-activity. He also has some anger management problems. Any type of formal teaching has been somewhat difficult and I have had to re-invent my teaching methods in order to better serve him. That's one of the wonderful perks of homeschooling; Building the education around the child instead of vice-versa. It works so much better that way.
Sometimes I think Austin may be smarter than me! That is a little scary. He is a very deep thinker for such a small boy. He ponders the things of life in such an intriguing manner that he quizzes me on things I really have to ponder myself before I can give him an educated answer! That has proven to be a good thing, though. I am somewhat of a deep thinker myself. I guess he gets it honest! All his questions leave me searching and finding some pretty enlightening ways to respond. Along the way, I learn quite a lot myself.
I had one of those light bulb moments the other day. You know how it is; you have a revelation about a certain thing at a time when you aren't even particularly thinking about it. Those are what I call "Thresholds". Doors that God leads me right through when I least expect it. I had been struggling with how to best deal with the academic aspects of Austin's homeschool day. After being undecided about what direction to take, I just took a few days off and Austin and I just did fun things together. We did Bible studies, art, watched some educational videos, went to the library, had some long conversations, stuff like that. All of a sudden that "Threshold" opened up and I heard the words "Character First". Not audibly, but they were in my mind so clearly, I knew they were words from my Father.
That's it!! Now I have a clear direction! Austin is only five years old. And, a mind-wandering male at that! Academics don't have to be top priority at this time in his life! Especially if that is stealing his joy (and mine, too). What an eye-opener! I think in the back of my mind, I had that feeling all along, but hearing it directly from my (and Austin's!) Creator kind of gave me the permission I needed to relax and work on the important thing, Austin's character. I can stop depending on medication (which hasn't worked anyway) and trying to put him in a box and make him act like other kids do. God made him to be who he is and hand-picked us to be his family. How wonderful! This ADHD thing is not a burden after all! It is a gift! A gift that, paired with the blessing of homeschooling, can help me to discover who Austin really is in Christ. A Gift that allows me (his hand-picked mom) to develop and guide him into God's plan for his life! My husband agreed wholeheartedly when I shared my new insights with him. That was another confirmation for me right there!
I praise God for giving me this child later into my life. There are many advantages to having a child as an older woman, but one I can see clearly now is that I am at a stage myself where I have experienced many things. I am more open to hearing God's voice and obeying what He tells me to do, in spite of my own doubts and fears. Even in spite of what other people may think or say. I have learned that God's way is ALWAYS the best, and if I obey this time and get Austin's character in line with God's word, all the rest of the things in his life will fall into place. No struggle. Granted, I know life will never be perfect, but I sure would rather do it God's way. That's a lot closer to perfection than my own way, for sure.
My love for my children is so great I can't fathom that God loves them even more. But, that strong invincible love we all feel for this special child along with this perfect layout straight from God's word will be my new lesson-plan from now on. He has shown it to us all in Colossians 3:12-17, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And, whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."
We are thankful for Austin. We can forgive Austin for his mistakes. We can forgive ourselves for the many mistakes we have made as well-meaning parents. We will all remain clothed with the virtues of God and peace will rule in the lives of this family! And, it will all be accomplished in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ who we are so thankful to for giving us this blessed experience! Austin is chosen by God and we will honor and appreciate how God created him. And that, my friends, is building the education around the child.
Hope you all have an "enlightening" day in the Lord!
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